My experience in LGBTQ+ Studies and why I used to hide (even in safe spaces)

by: Saz McKean

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know about the 2SLGBTQIA+ community until I was about 10 years old, and only because my dad introduced me to his gay colleague from work. Then, a few years later, all anyone could talk about was a gay boy that was out at my middle school. Little 12-year-old Saz didn’t exactly get why it was such a big deal; “Okay, he likes guys, so what?” I thought, “So do my friends and I.” 

When I was 13, a person that was out and proud as asexual told me I was gorgeous; first experience of ‘gay panic’? A bit, but I remember asking them, “What’s asexual?” They replied, “It’s kind of like, I’m attracted to people’s personalities.” That sounded a lot like me. After that, I started doing more research into the queer community and realized there are more than a few sexualities and gendered terms, more than I could count on one hand. I read a lot about asexuality, and suddenly I no longer felt like an alien; I wasn’t alone and it wasn’t unnatural to experience a lack of or no sexual attraction.  

High school health class introduced discussion topics like whether you would let your son wear a dress to school; sociology classes delved into same-sex parent families and gender; a leadership class covered the descriptions of many sexualities and genders; but nothing else was discussed unless you specifically chose to do your research projects on them. High school also introduced friends that, though at the time I didn’t know, are also part of the queer community; these few friends are the only ones I still stay in contact with four years into college.  

So, when I got to Sheridan and I was quickly surrounded by more 2SLGBTQIA+ friends than cis straight friends, I knew I was in the right place. Then, in my third year, the LGBTQ+ Studies class was introduced—my friends and I, even the active allies, were quick to have that as our breadth elective. 

It really showed how diverse the queer community is, even from just an online class; and it was nice to see all of these people eager to further learn about each other and our community. I took this class in the first semester that it ran, so I was there when the Discord server was created and was opened to not just the two cohorts but also any friends from the queer community that wanted in. I enjoyed the class, enjoyed delving into research about androgyny and gender for many of my assignments, and enjoyed researching and cohosting Sappho: The OG Lesbian for my SuperQueero podcast. However, I wish there was time or opportunity to learn more about other ‘less known’ areas of the community.  

Throughout the course, there was discussion of the multiple prejudices that the queer community experienced and still experiences, but also delving into the internal prejudices of the community of racism, biphobia, and transphobia. I remember sitting there, sitting on my hands and microphone off. I observed and had a heavy heart, not only because of my peers giving their stories but also because I did not see a single other asexual in that class. Were they also silent, picking assignments related to their romantic orientation or gender identity rather than their sexuality? Hiding, like I was? 

I realize how ridiculous it must sound to some, hiding in a class that is a safe space for the queer community? To me, it was just another day, avoiding a possibility of hate in the queer community towards asexuals that I have personally experienced on more occasions than I’d like to admit. There is no way for me to know if I would have been faced with this in this class, I doubt it, but I think there is room for growth in conversations. I’ve found this gap in discussion and hate always stems from a lack of effort or desire to understand or learn more about asexuality and romantic orientations. 

LGBTQ+ Studies is a very good class that looks at a multitude of theories and topics and important people in the community; opens a door for connection between those in the community from different programs; and creates an opportunity to develop future classes that delve into more specific areas, and I hope it can feel like an even safer space for everyone in the queer community.